Adventures in Hounding

Hello, Again

2009-07-13T23:07:00.000-07:00

I realize I've been threatening to start posting things again for what seems like years. To me anyway. I also realize that I've been threatening to write anything for what seems like years, and haven't really got around to doing that either. I have been reading quite a bit, which I think I'm probably using as a bit of a crutch so I don't have to write.

Whether it be laziness, or writers-block, or creative stagnation, or the looming hatred towards a computer screen, I'm tired of being too tired to write. And I'm tired of this stupid imaginary blockade that wont let anything come out that isn't well-versed and brilliant. (You can see why I haven't written anything at all in a while.) Baby steps. I've just decided to start writing very boring and mundane things until I finally work my way up to well-versed and brilliant. It's a personal goal of mine, brilliance.

But until the brilliance ensues, I'm sticking to boring and mundane voiced in a style that is probably akin to what you would find in a 16-year-old girl's diary. Again, baby steps. Here goes:

The recent big changes in my life can probably be summed up in the two dreams that I've had in the past 48 hours.

The first was a scene where I was stuck in a high school guidance office, trying to book a flight to my next class. This was all done by machines, and the counter was too high for me to see what was being printed on the ticket. Unfortunately, my flight to class was booked to where I was going to be late to work on the first day of my new job. While trying to change it, suddenly it became 10:00 in the morning, and two significant people from both my previous and future places of employment showed up at my high school to ask me why I wasn't there. Oh, and did I mention I couldn't speak?

I start a new job on Wednesday. After taking a 3 1/2 year hiatus, I'm returning to Tequila Mockingbird as the interim Executive Producer. It's a 6-month maternity leave take-over, and although I am going to miss Shiny immensely, I'm really excited about this. It's a great opportunity, and it also opens a lot of doors for the future. I can't wait to see where things end up next year. That being said, I'm still going to miss the hell out of the Shiny family. It was a fun run.

Here's hoping there's no show-up-to-work-late-and-naked dreams tonight.

The following night I had a dream about men. I hadn't had a dream about this particular man in over a year, and I'm not sure why last night was different, except for maybe that today was today. Regardless of the reason, it offered more closure than I had ever expected a dream to give. A sort of farewell, good luck, well wishes to/from the 18-year-old version of my ex-boyfriend.

It's funny what your subconscious will do when it wants to tell you something. I think mine was trying to let me know that in finding something that makes me genuinely happy, there's no real reason to hold grudges or be angry anymore. That book has closed, I can put it on a shelf and leave it alone.

And begin a brand new one. I'm pretty excited about that.

As insanely bizarre as my dreams are on a regular basis, sometimes the brain-vomit hones in on something insightful from time to time. Thanks, subconscious, for making me realize that it's time to let go of 6 years of baggage and finally be happy. And thanks, Elijah, for being that something.

So there you go. A bit of a self-involved entry, but it's writing nonetheless. Please stay tuned for literary brilliance, and everything else that gets jotted down along the way.

There's something about a place

2009-07-13T18:48:00.000-07:00

...that makes you feel the way human beings should feel. Without cell phones and televisions and computers. The way you feel when your GPS stops working because you've entered a place that doesn't exist on a map. The way you feel when directions stop referring road signs and start with "about 50 yards past that one church, turn left on an unmarked dirt road." The way you feel when you realize that the necessary components of a 21st century lifestyle are completely and totally futile.

About 2 weeks after I got back from Big Bend, a friend of mine asked me if I could put into words what the connection was there. After 30 minutes of giddy reminiscing, he was determined to load up his newborn in a car and take him camping in the desert for a week.

And truth be told, I can't. The only thing I can say is that you need to stop on the border highway halfway between Presidio and Terlingua in the Chinati mountains, overlook the Rio Grande, and take a deep breath.

There's something soul-cleansing about the desert that I've never experienced in the mountains or on a beach. The sporadic signs of life littered amongst complete and total drought and famine. Those little signs of life. Signs of survival.

It's the vast open spaces that completely rip you out of a compressed daily lifestyle and remind you of how small you are. How tiny we all are. And that this world is so much more than anyone has ever seen.

It's all of that. But way more eloquent and beautiful than I could ever put into words. However, I did try pretty hard to put it on film:

Bigger Bend

2009-05-27T14:12:00.001-07:00

Mexico was Great vol. 2

2009-05-18T18:10:00.001-07:00

Lollapalooza Lineup Video 2009

2009-04-21T10:26:00.000-07:00

Check out our latest, greatest video piece for C3 Presents. Shooting was a blast, I'll have behind the scenes photos up soon. Enjoy!

Lollapalooza Lineup 2009 from C3 Presents Video on Vimeo.

Back Issue #1: SXSW09

2009-04-18T16:01:00.000-07:00

Argh! Okay okay okay. Here we go with back issues of blogs. Starting with postworthy item A: SXSW.

This year was relatively mellow in comparison to years past. With the combination of us (Shiny) not having a short film in the Interactive Fest for the first year, and my having some minor surgery that week, I ended up getting a lot more sleep and spending far less money this time around. It was so nice that I'm mildly contemplating getting out of town for next year's fest. We'll see how well that goes.

It started out with the R7 boys coming in town and us all having a nice dinner before they ran off and rocked the faces off Austin. Families were in attendance, I was hopped up on Vicodin, it was a pleasant night all around.

And then commenced the rocking. The Stubbs show was phenomenal. It was so incredible to see what started out in a small club in LA a few months ago turn into such a huge success. Not that I thought for a second that it wouldn't, but it's exciting nonetheless. They just played with the living half of The Beatles in NYC last week. Hot damn. The album comes out May 5th. Get up on that.

The next day was Relentless7's Direct TV taping, which was equally awesome, though shorter and much more strict on camera usage. I was almost bitched-slapped before being told to put my camera away, so the following photos are bitterly stolen from Getty.

Post-taping, Elijah and I wandered across the 1st street bridge and watched the sunset whilst running through the list of places we want to live and things we could throw on paddle-boat passers-by. We opted to leave them be and go watch the Arc Angels instead.

Monsey has been added to the Arc Angels lineup, which much to his disappointment in having to stand up for over an hour, I thoroughly enjoy. There's a head bob and a shoulder thrust that adds a certain suave grooviness to the whole experience. Yeah Mons.

They're putting out a new album and hitting the road again starting this month. There are a couple Continental Club dates next week, but apart from that, they'll be overseas and far away for some time. Catch them in Austin while you can. (Or to my friends in London, they'll have a residency for most of May. Go do that. This means you, Rhod.)

Jonny had a show at Threadgills shortly following the Arc Angels, so there was more street wandering in between those. The Trishas came up to sing background vocals. I snapped a lot of photos and then was taught the Corby dance. Jonny, no longer one-half of The Dedringers, has been playing solo shows around Texas, and writing some really fantastic songs along the way. He plays a semi-regular show at the Saxon, so swing on by.

Then it was back to the Big House for fun times all around. That house could probably be the death of us all, but it might just be worth it. More on that later.

And last, but certainly not least was the Shiny Object/Butler Bros annual SXSW BYOC party. This was my second year as a party thrower and not just an attendee, so let it be my completely unbiased opinion that in it's 4th year of existence, this has become one of the best day parties throughout the whole festival.

This year we had a record amount of people, and the best lineup yet. Ron, our Creative Director, scours the SXSW band list for months, looking for what amazing acts that you probably haven't seen are going to be in town. This year we had The Sheeps (a roots band from NY via Austin), The Emeralds (the most incredible Japanese punk band you will ever see ever. Ever), Roy Head and Barbara Lynn (old Ponderosa Stomp players that have played with pretty much every legendary blues player imaginable), The Bo-Keys (rad Memphis blues), Hollerado (Great Canadian rock, and sweet dudes as well), The Peekers (the best I can describe this as is happy-psychedelic, Mamas&Papas meet Pink Floyd? A ton of fun though), and The Diagonals who I slept through so I can't give you an accurate description. Sorry. I was tired, and still on the aforementioned Vicodin.

The best of the day was The Emeralds, hands down. They all showed up in leather suits. It was 90 degrees outside. The sound check was an actual song, in which the lyrics of the song consisted of, "I NEED MORE OF HIM IN MY MONITOR! YEAH YEAH ROCK N ROLL!"

And then, of course, the great, "HEY AUSTIN, DO YOU LIKE MY SHIRT?!" battle cry unto the masses. It was incredible. We did, in fact, like his shirt.

My dad ran sound, as per usual BYOC procedure. It's always fun to have him around during work functions. And in case anyone ever doubted that I'm my father's child, see the "I'm annoyed with you" face in both photos below:

And that my friends, was the end of the week for me. I passed out under the sound booth and went home by 8pm. All in all, it was a great festival, and though not near as eventful as last year, I think it's better that way. Congrats to Relentless7, who are currently tearing through London with rock and roll and stuff of that nature.

#1 lesson learned: if you get surgery the week of SXSW, don't expect to do as much rocking as normal. Be prepared for a lot of this:

The End.

Props Gone Wild

2009-04-17T16:22:00.000-07:00

What happens when bean bags meet construction paper and a little bit of imagination.

Mexico was Great

2009-04-12T22:40:00.001-07:00

This is not a real update

2009-04-01T11:55:00.001-07:00

But one will be coming soon. I promise.

To steal Ryann's term, I've had an inordinate amount of "bloggers guilt" lately, and now actually have content to post. Lengthy posts, possibly complete with photo illustrations, about shit you may or may not care about will be up in the near future.

Keep checking. It's brewing.

Hooray! We're throwing another SXSW showcase!

2009-03-10T14:27:00.001-07:00

Relentless 7- Shimmer and Shine video

2009-03-07T13:34:00.000-08:00

Look how handsome those boys look. Go see them at SXSW. Buy their album in May.

The shot of Jason sleeping makes me miss him terribly. If you're reading this, bring the party line back to Austin. Love you guys tons.

Ben Harper & Relentless7 - Shimmer and Shine

Bombs Away!

2009-03-05T21:49:00.000-08:00

It's only been a few hours, and my thighs already hurt. I haven't jumped on a trampoline in entirely too long...

We're currently shooting the 2009 brochure for Ballet Austin with the wonderful Andrew Yates, and today we had 10 dancers on trampolines being shot in front of green-screen mid-air.

Somehow our shots weren't as graceful. But, I did my best impression anyway:

Day 2 tomorrow at the Ballet. I'm working on my new poses.

We Are Shiny. We Will Kick Your Ass.

2009-02-27T12:50:00.000-08:00

And we won 2 Addys. One for our Sinatra ballet video and one for our packaging. Holla!

Save it.

2009-02-19T13:47:00.000-08:00

Down in Luckenbach Texas

2009-02-15T20:03:00.000-08:00

Great things happen.

You sing, and you drink, and you breathe in campfire smoke, after you decide to drive out there from Austin at midnight on Valentines day.

And you play songs in the round about broken hearts and acid and ships and how Corby snores in the key of C.

And you laugh for hours about the temperature and the time, and you draw abstract sketches on a post with a permanent marker that you swear isn't a seahorse, it's a tree.

And you watch the sun come up, and you go to bed in the back of a jeep at 7 in the morning, and you listen to Willie Nelson on loop while you sleep.

Then you wake up to the sound of motorcycles and you climb out of the car with bed head, and you spend the entire gorgeous Sunday eating cheeseburgers and watching music in the sunshine.

And most of all, you have the best damn valentines day ever because you spend it with genuinely great people having a genuinely great time.

......then you go home and lay in bed without showering because you love the smell of campfire smoke that much.

Goodnight Luckenbach.

A Gift from Alabama

2009-02-12T10:16:00.001-08:00

From our friends at Red Square Agency in Mobile, AL. Great people. Great agency. Great random gifts. We're all looking forward to working with them again this year. Well that, and Mardi Gras. Wooooo!!!

This one is for Monsey

2009-02-12T00:27:00.000-08:00

Because he told me he reads this. Which makes me happy. But also makes me feel the pressure to write something of substance. This will not be substantial. This will be a post at 2:30 in the morning after I attended a Power Ballad singalong in an ACDC t-shirt, and then danced on 2 consecutive bars following. This was a good night. Though not blogworthy. But I shall blog anyway. Something of content should be coming soon. Hopefully. Stay tuned faithful readers (this means you, Mons). And on a side note, I fucking love Night Ranger.

GOODBYE DUBYA, HELLO OBAMA!

2009-01-21T10:39:00.000-08:00

I can't say anything that hasn't already been said, except how unbelievably happy I am that W is now out of the office. Yesterday was truly an incredible day. Now we can all look forward to working together and rebuilding this nation. Thank you, and good luck President Obama.

Woah.

2009-01-18T11:22:00.001-08:00

Confessions of a Child with Poor Taste

2009-01-14T11:16:00.000-08:00

People always ask me what the first record I bought was. Not necessarily me in particular, but I always seem to find myself in groups of people that have this conversation all the time. I almost always say I can't remember, and sometimes lie and say it was Red Headed Stranger......probably.

This is completely untrue. I don't remember with perfect clarity what the first record I bought was, but I can say with confidence that it was one of two possible choices: Sammy Kershaw's "Feelin' Good Train" or David Ball's "Thinkin' Problem." One of those I bought with my own money, and one of those my dad came home with from work one day as a spontaneous gift. I can't seem to remember which was which.

Sometimes you'll hear stories of kids that scraped together enough change from lemonade stands and bake sales to go down to the record store and buy that piece of music that would forever make an impact on their musical tastes and careers for the rest of their lives. This was obviously not me.

I wanted to listen to "Third Rate Romance" and I had no idea what an Amazing Rhythm Ace was. I thought "Thank'in problummm" was the epitome of vocal expression. This is highly embarrassing. And it's not even cool-embarrassing like if I had used my lemonade money to get RickRolled. I danced around my room to "National Working Woman's Holiday."

I was asked this question again today, and instead of trying to mumble and avoid it, I decided to finally come clean. I, Ashley Bergeron, used my first $13.99 to be put towards musical growth and expression, towards furthering Sammy Kershaw's career. Or David Ball's. Whatever.

Either way, I guess it didn't do much good.

One Light Town

2009-01-07T13:53:00.000-08:00

My mom's family all lives in a place called Grand Saline in east Texas. Underneath the town is the largest salt mine in America. This is where Morton salt comes from. In the summers, there's a salt festival, complete with a salt rodeo, a salt dance, a salt pageant and a salt parade. There is a salt palace which is actually a 10'x10' square room made of salt bricks. There is a large salt rock outside the palace that people lick when they happen to get caught at the light at Main & 80. This isn't sanitary.

Adam Carroll has a song about a man who sings karaoke in a bar in Grand Saline. This is false. There are no bars there, and certainly none that have karaoke machines. Just recently a restaurant opened at the old Ranchero called Pappadales. All of the furniture inside is from Chilis. So is the menu. I think it might be the first restaurant in Texas history to successfully rip off two major chain restaurants in one fell swoop. Regardless, it is the first place in Grand Saline history that serves alcohol, therefore this is where you will find anyone you need to find in this town. Wait around at Pappadales long enough and everyone will eventually show up.

This Christmas I took my cameras with me to the one light town I've been visiting every holiday and numerous summers for the past 22 years. I stood in the middle of highways, walked around town like a nut, squatting in culverts and standing on electrical boxes. But hallelujah, I got what I wanted out of 2 rolls of film and a taped up plastic camera. Welcome everyone, to Grand Saline Texas.

Happy New Year

2009-01-02T23:46:00.000-08:00

Despite finally going to bed at 8am the morning of New Years Eve thanks to a bottle of whiskey and a stack of records the night before, Kristi and I dragged our hungover asses to the Continental to ring in the new year. Becky decided she was going to drag us on stage to dance with her while James (along w/ Ian McLangan) played the hell out of Choctaw Bingo, and Carrie & Joe got it on camera. The result was a video with sub par audio but awesome dancing (mostly thanks to Becky). Enjoy.

Happy Ox Year to everyone!

Happy Christmas Cyberspace!

2008-12-25T12:28:00.000-08:00

(Yes, that's my family)

Fanny Packin'

2008-12-22T23:33:00.001-08:00

We gave customized fanny packs out for Christmas. There's really nothing to say beyond that.

Ooooooo Caress

2008-12-22T15:39:00.002-08:00

This is what happens after 4 days of editing a Whataburger spot, where the footage includes this golden nugget of a WB employee busting out a song she wrote about Caress Soap while tape was rolling. We all learned the words. Can you say......magic??

And the Oscar goes to....

2008-12-21T17:04:00.000-08:00

Christmas shopping usually makes me want to crawl into a hole and die. Actually, any kind of shopping usually makes me want to crawl into a hole and die. I really can't think of any worse place to be than an outlet mall the weekend before Christmas, but low and behold, this is what I did yesterday. So after I made it out of Round Rock, I drove by the Arbor and decided that stopping to watch a movie would put me in a much better headspace.

So I did. I stopped and watched Milk. And oh my god, it was amazing. Sean Penn deserves the Oscar hands down, but even beyond the stellar acting, this movie is a pretty stark reminder of the same battle that citizens of this country have been fighting for over 30 years. Regardless of your political opinions, I think everyone should see this movie. If anything, it'll give you a bit of insight to a world you might not understand fully.

And make sure to bring tissues. Congratulations Van Sant, you have made one of the only movies that has made me cry.

Filler

2008-12-18T15:22:00.000-08:00

I'm too busy to post an actual entry, but I found this hilarious, and thought I should share:

Rolling Stone on Relentless7

2008-12-09T07:49:00.000-08:00

I'll get around to posting about our trip to LA at some point, but in the meantime, read this. It's a Rolling Stone review of Ben Harper's new band, Relentless7, which just so happens to include a few of my amazingly talented friends. Kyle and I flew up to LA this past weekend to watch them play a couple small club shows, and be all around giddy and excited for their newfound opportunities. The music was fantastic, the vibe was awesome, and honestly, I think this is the best thing Harper's ever done musically. Now that may be my bias opinion, but it's exciting to see that Rolling Stone shares a similar one:

"BEN HARPER INTRODUCES NEW BLUES-ROCK BAND RELENTLESS7"

Ben Harper is introducing his fiery new band, Relentless7, with a short tour of small clubs this month, and their second stop was Thursday at Spaceland in Los Angeles, where the four-piece unleashed 90 minutes of thundering rock and blues explosions. There was no “Steal My Kisses” or “Ground On Down” or any other fan favorites from earlier in Harper’s career. The clear message was that this was a new band, with its own sound and energy.

The night opened with a tough, howling “Number With No Name,” a song from their just-finished debut album, White Lies For Dark Times, set for release in May 2009. Harper sat with his lap-slide guitar and wailed, “For five days straight, I’ve been breathing fire!”

There was an intense, rumbling Bluesbreakers groove on “Dressed in Black” from drummer Jordan Richardson and bassist Jesse Ingalls, and Harper traded searing bolts of electric guitar with Jason Mozersky on “Lay There and Hate Me,” a wild, melodic collision of Rolling Stones and Beatles influences. Harper picked up a Gibson Les Paul and told the capacity crowd, “People say you shouldn’t smile when you make rock & roll, but fuck them.”

The members of Relentless7 are originally from Austin, Texas, and first recorded with Harper on “Serve Your Soul,” a track on his 2006 double-album, Both Sides of the Gun. They reconvened this summer and sessions for the new album were completed in November at the Village Studios in Los Angeles.

At Spaceland, the band’s combined force was almost too big for the room. There was a soaring, emotional “Fly One Time” and the brooding 12-string acoustic ballad “Skin Thin.” Mozersky brought a modern, echoing guitar edge to “Up to You Now,” along with a sly Spaghetti Western vibe, as Harper sang a single, wailing note for what seemed like a full dramatic minute. Late in the set was a joyous cover of the Queen/Bowie 1981 duet “Under Pressure,” with Harper taking both vocal parts, as fans sang along to the anxious closing moments.

In the small dressing room backstage soon after, Harper and the band celebrated with friends. Harper’s wife Laura Dern gave him a long hug and actor David Arquette passed out fresh tamales just bought from a street vendor. Harper then placed a small “R7″ decal on the wall, joining an overlapping collection of band names.

Just prior to the presidential election, Harper and Relentless7 performed several concerts as part of the Get Out and Vote! arena tour with the Beastie Boys and Tenacious D. But Harper is leading this tour through much smaller rock clubs, as if he wasn’t already an established artist. “I wanted us to earn it,” says Harper of the new band. “This is where it needs to be for it to be sincere.”

It was only the second show of the tour, and Harper held up his right thumb to show where the skin was already peeling off. “There’s not a moment in this band where it’s not turned on,” he says. “It’s the most natural musical process that I’ve ever been involved with.”

Set List:

“Number With No Name”
“Shimmer and Shine”
“Lay There and Hate Me”
“Better Way”
“Fly One Time”
“Keep It Together”
“Dressed in Black”
“Skin Thin”
“Boots Like These”
“The Word Suicide”
“Up to You Now”
“Faithfully Remain”
“Under Pressure”
“Serve Your Soul”

The Non-Update Update

2008-12-01T21:25:00.001-08:00

I have 13 unfinished entries. This is what I do. I start writing in pieces and a lot of times they never get put together. You should see old journals I have. Bullets of points I intend to make, and a story that starts at the end and ends in the middle. The beginning is always written at the end. Always. It made for pretty messy notebook pages.

Now I can do it all digitally, which makes each entry harder to forget and easier to look back and say, "what the hell was I trying to get at?" Either way I'm starting to feel the pressure of all the drafts piling up on my dashboard. Finish! Post! Repeat!

And then I'm reminded of the reason I started this thing. This is for me. And though I do love that you guys read it, I should be just as happy with the unposted fragments as I am with things I actually finish writing. Like this. (Which doesn't really say much at all now does it?)

So there it is, my half-ass apology for not posting recently and keeping my fragments of entries about VH1 Classic, and the mustache movement, and one of the best movies I've seen all year (Let the Right One in) to myself. I'll work on it, I promise. And maybe someday soon there will be an avalanche of unrelated posts to entertain the masses.

And by masses, I mean the 5 of you who check this out on a regular basis.

Oh My God, YES!

2008-11-21T09:09:00.001-08:00

Goosebumps

2008-11-14T15:21:00.000-08:00

This is in front of the White House today:

Congratulations Obama. Congratulations America.

Serenity Now

2008-11-12T17:22:00.000-08:00

I am currently sitting on my back porch in a papasan chair trying to work through this coffee buzz. I'd forgotten why I stopped drinking coffee when the 3:00 crash hits in the afternoon. This is why. Shaky hands and clenched teeth and that general feeling of, if I ran fast enough I could make entire body explode. Yeah, that's it.

So I've decided to sit out in my backyard with a choice playlist of Black Crowes songs and take deep breaths until I feel I'm at normal speed again. Right now I'm approximating I'm at 217% of normalcy. This is why I could never live in Manhattan.

In the few minutes after I came home from work last night, I realized that I was living in a giant basket of laundry, and that I should probably clean my room. While I was doing so, I came across something on my bookshelf that I hadn't opened in years.

It was a book called "All About Me", and it was one of those blatantly self-obsessed books that you find next to the Marijuana Cookbooks in the back corner of Urban Outfitters. I had filled it out about 3 years ago, and hadn't opened it since.

And holy shit, It was fucking hilarious.

A lot can happen in 3 years, and in case you're one of those that think that people don't really ever change, fill out one of those books and look at it 3 years later. It'll crack you up. I'm all about self-discovery and whatnot, but even if I wasn't I'd recommend everyone do this just for the comedic value.

So go here, fill it out, and get back to me in a few years. I promise you, it'll be funny.

Analog. Rad.

2008-11-07T16:37:00.000-08:00

Well There Ya Have It

2008-11-05T07:58:00.000-08:00

Wow. Thank you America. There was a huge sigh of relief in my house last night when the numbers hit 270. And then 298. And then 330. And now 349. Yes We Did.

I realize whole-heartedly that no matter what, this is still politics, and our President Elect is still a politician, and that there are certain caveats that go along with that. I also realize that platforms are wish-lists, and no candidate, democrat or republican, ever delivers on 100% of their campaign platform. I realize that a lot of the Americans that've had 9 month long hard-ons for him might start to get a bit disappointed when the honeymoon phase is over, and actual policy decisions are put into play. Again, this is politics.

However, I'm confident in my vote for the future President of the United States of America because I truly believe that Obama has the health of the nation at heart. It might not be all sunshine and rainbows because things just don't work that easily in government. They never do. But I feel like having the state of your country as your biggest concern, instead of proving yourself as a "maverick" whilst keeping the same policies we've had for the past 8 years, is a pretty damn important piece of the puzzle. And for that, I'm thankful that America made the right choice.

I'm also thankful for a very gracious and tactful concession speech by John McCain, regardless of the tact of his supporters that were there watching.

So for those of you "preparing for socialism", I highly recommend you read up on exactly what socialism is, and what kind of policies he is proposing (great article here). And to those of you who are angry because we've "let a Muslim become president" or we're suddenly "Pro-terrorism", stop getting your political advice and information from internet chain mail and rumours. We're all in this together now. Let's be informed, not ignorant.

It's time to look forward into the next 4 years and do all we can to bring America out of the hole that past administrations and greedy corporations and even we have dug ourselves into. Let's bring our soldiers home. Let's find a better source of energy. Let's stop people from dying because they can't get health care. Let's put this country on an upturn for once.

So regardless of the way you voted, let's look at this with optimism and yes, hope. Embrace the fact that this is a huge landmark in American History, and let's center around something we all can agree on: thanking God that we're not going to have to entertain the idea of "President Palin."

They call it the Boob Tube

2008-10-21T20:14:00.000-07:00

I spend entirely too much time in front of the television. I'll freely admit that I've become a couch potato as of late. I try to justify it with the fact that I don't watch reality television, and I watch a lot of the history channel, but I'll also be the first one to tell you that if I stumble across an episode of Law & Order, I'll be hooked for the next 3 hours.

I noticed last night as I was going to bed (with the Daily Show on in my bedroom) that I have 4 books on my nightstand that all have turned down corners within the first quarter of the pages. I haven't made it through an entire book in months. This is probably partially due to the fact that my breaks between reading are so long that I forget which one I'm reading and how far along I am, that I just give up and keep starting over. Not really an efficient way to read, I know.

I suddenly felt very lazy, and very stupid. I sit in front of a computer screen for 9 hours a day, do I really need to come home and sit in front of a television screen for 3 hours after that? That's just ridiculous. I need to be doing something else.

So today instead of coming home from work and flipping on FX, I sat down on my couch with Bukowski for a couple of hours. I also opened up a clean, new notebook and wrote a prologue to an assemblage of short stories that I've just decided that I'm going to write. There's a good chance they'll be abysmal but hey, why not. If the writers for Grey's Anatomy still have jobs, then I'll be damned if I can't write a few stories and have them live on my bedside table.

So here it is: my public declaration to stop being such a damned slug. Please feel free to ask me how it's going from time to time, as these types of things tend to fall into the same fate as New Year's Resolutions. Consider this an open invitation to give me shit until I finish a book, and finish writing a short story in it's entirety.

Now. With all that said, there's still no way I'm missing my Mad Men on Sunday nights.

VICTORY!

2008-10-13T09:52:00.001-07:00

Congratulations to me. It's the Monday after OU weekend and I'm not A) in bed with a half gallon of ice cream, B) swearing off Dallas for the rest of my life, or C) immediately hating anyone with any sort of visible aura.

For the past 2 years, OU weekend has easily been the worst 3 days of the year (and usually not having anything to do directly with the actual OU/UT game). For reasons that I've yet to understand, this weekend usually leaves me in tears or in bed for 3 weeks straight. In an attempt to ward off the likely impending doom, I planned to do what any sane person would do in this situation: lock my ass in the house and cut myself off from all outside communication.

This plan would've gone over swimmingly, but I was finally coaxed out of the house with promises of beer and guitar in the Emerald Forest (sometimes known as Matty's backyard). While hesitant to expose myself to the outside world, I decided to suck it up and brave the chances of a hat trick for "fuck my life" weekends. And man, am I glad I did.

My evening ended on the floor of a good friend's house in a haze of smoke and wine and floor pillows and really amazing records. There's just something about vinyl, it's like you can dive into the sound and swim around in it for a while. Something extremely important when you're looking to wallow in a few Willie Nelson songs.

But while laying there staring at the ceiling and listening to "Permanently Lonely" over again (worth a lyric search if you feel like being gracefully vindictive), it occurred to me that the reason this year didn't end up in disaster is because the people in my life now are different from the people in my life then. And that this year wouldn't have happened without last year, which wouldn't have happened without the year before.

The chain of annual events that happened on this particular weekend have surprisingly led to a happier me. Without the previous years' events, I wouldn't have met a lot of the people I know now, and for that I can be grateful for those weekends that knocked me on my ass. Not to say those knock-downs don't still hurt from time to time (if they didn't there'd be no need for that Willie record), but they definitely cleared a much less self-destructive path to travel down.

Life is happier now, and life is better now, but sometimes reminiscence does get the best of me after a few glasses of wine. It's nights like that when I have to remember the truly wonderful times that've come recently (like floor-level record reviews) and that there will only be more to come, as long as I keep myself surrounded with spectacular people. Which I'm doing a pretty damn good job of doing so far.

So to those of you who have made that difference in that past year, thank you for everything. I really do love you. And that right there is the reason that my OU weekend did not end in complete disaster.

Well that, and 45-35 Texas. Hook Em!

History 2008

2008-10-08T08:26:00.000-07:00

It's surreal sometimes......and it's not that people forget that it's reality, because I think that everyone is aware of what's going on in our country right now, at least on some level. But if you take on the 100 year perspective, it's pretty fucking crazy. We are currently living through history. We are living through a period of time that our grandchildren will learn about in 6th grade history class. They'll write papers and they'll do research projects, and they'll interview us and ask us how we felt and what we thought at this exact moment.

And we'll remember it all. The spot where we were sitting on 9/11, how many people we knew that died in Iraq, how much we paid for gas, how we made sense of the fact that bad home mortgages single handedly brought down our entire economy, who we voted for in the 2008 election, and GOD FORBID what we were doing when the U.S. imploded because John McCain died and Sarah Palin took office.

I ran out for a quick errand before the debate last night, and when I was driving home, every house on my street had their television on, watching Obama and McCain go at it. Now, maybe last night it didn't do much good directly, since I'm still trying to figure out if anyone actually said anything at all (well, other than "here's $5000, go get health insurance! ....ha, please tell me that's a joke). But seeing that horrific blue glow (why they have to make debate stages so hideous is beyond me) through every living room window on my street was a goosebump-inducing reminder of how pivotal this election is.

So go vote. Please go vote. But for God's sake inform yourself before you do. I'm not going to tell you that you're wrong if you don't vote the way I do, but I will say that you're wrong if you don't know what you're voting for. Voting because you think a clueless hockey mom is "folksy" and relates to the "Joe Six-Packs" of the world is the worst reason I can possibly ever think of. Ever. Read up on the issues, figure out which ones are most important to you, and make an informed decision. That way when your grandchild asks you why you voted the way you did when our country was going down the crapper, you don't have to say, "oh, well the VP nominee didn't have to read the news, so I figured I didn't have to either..."

New York Times

Washington Post

International Herald Tribune

Maverick!

2008-10-06T07:31:00.001-07:00

OMG, I'm like LOLing!

2008-09-22T08:59:00.000-07:00

Recently, I picked up the first season of Californication on DVD, and if you don't mind a cornucopia of boobs in your viewing experience, it's a pretty damn good show. While watching it last night, there was one scene in particular that hit me with that, "Holy shit, that's EXACTLY how I feel" moment, and it inspired me to act with probably the most hypocritical response I could've given to that particular moment: blog.

There is a scene in which David Duchovny's character (both a writer and a sex addict), goes on a radio talk show, and discusses the growing stupidity of people and the demise of the human language due to the constant use of texts, chats and blogs. All of this, because a girl he was dating uttered "LOL" during a conversation. I can sympathize...... that drives me absolutely batshit crazy. Abbreviations and acrostics like LOL and WTF have transcended beyond simple text and instant messages, but into the way people write articles, songs, song titles, and even speak.

I saw yesterday a new song by Sarah McLachlan of all people, called "U want me 2". Now I can understand if you're Miley Cyrus, having that in your lexicon of sugar pop lyrics would appeal to your fanbase of 13-year-olds who speak like the girl in that AT&T unlimited texting commercial. (You know, "my BFF Jill!") But you're Sarah McLachlan for Christ's sake. A huge chunk of your fanbase is composed of lesbian english lit professors. Hate to break it to you, but tween pop-star-wannabes are not going to dig "Adia". They're just not.

I realize this isn't everyone's case, but the entire reason I started this blog is because after college, I wasn't required to be constantly writing anymore. And I missed it. I missed that feeling of making words into sentences. I missed everything about it. So I started this for the sole fact that maybe I would write more if I had somewhere to do it. So voila! Here it is. A blog. A place where I write.

So if you're actually writing something, regardless of where it ends up, lay off the terms like LOL, and LMFAO, and OMG, and WTF. Use English (or whatever other language you may speak), just use real words. I can understand the use of those terms in a text message, maybe, but even that is slightly annoying. Call me old fashioned, but I liked it when words were words. And dear God, don't use them in your speech. It's never appropriate. Ever. No. Don't.

So let's slow down on the road to Idiocricy, shall we? I don't really want to be eating at Fuckrudders anytime soon.

War Dance

2008-09-15T10:19:00.000-07:00

One of the most heartwrenching documentaries I've seen in a long time. It's the story of a school from a war-refuge camp in a village called Patango in northern Uganda that qualifies to compete in the National Music Competition in southern Uganda. The story is amazing, it's shot beautifully, and most importantly it gives these kids a chance to tell their stories.

These children live in the middle of war-torn Uganda and have lost almost everything, including their families. To watch all of their faces light up when they're making music is amazing. Their optimism, amongst devastation, is truly inspirational.

I wont divulge too much of the movie, but I will say that while watching this, I was immediately reminded of someone I met last summer, who happens to be one of the most incredible people I've ever met.

I was on a train from Rome to Florence, and sat next to a man named Robert Paine. He was in his late 20s and was traveling to a city called Arrezzo to study for his 2nd masters degree. I think he spoke something like 4 languages, and was planning to get his doctorate in London after he left Italy, and eventually become a human rights ambassador.

Robert was from Sierra Leon and was one of the most amazing people I've ever met. Being the age he is, he was a teenager through the height of the diamond wars. Not knowing much about it, other than seeing Blood Diamond and reading a handful of articles about the wars after that, I had no real grasp on what it was he lived through. So I asked questions. Lots and lots of questions.

For the next 4 hours, we talked about God, politics, war, peace, family and compassion. It astounded me how optimistic and grateful and peaceful of a person he was, despite the fact that he had been run out of villages and lost his friends and his father. He was able to get out of there alive, and now he's doing something. I asked him why he wants to be a human rights ambassador and he said, "so I can do everything I can to keep what happened to me from happening to other people."

As our trip came to an end, we exchanged email addresses and he pulled out a little bag and handed me a bracelet that he made back in Sierra Leon. I wore it the entire time I was in Europe, and still wear it from time to time here. I think of him every time I put it on, and try to remember to be grateful for what I have and the peace that I'm blessed to live in every day. I think especially in a time like now, where political opinions and emotions are raging, people tend to forget that sometimes.

I still get emails from him every once in a while, and they always put a smile on my face. Every one of them describes how beautiful everything is in Italy and how excited he is to be there. The last one read, "I wish you all the best and the happiest of moments."

As long as there are people like Robert and like Dominic from Patango in this world, there will always be someone to remind me to be happy and to appreciate life for all that it is.

I can't recommend this movie enough. Watch it.

Exactly.

2008-09-11T09:12:00.001-07:00

Note to Self

2008-09-07T20:32:00.001-07:00

Don't watch infomercials at 4:00 in the morning with a credit card nearby.

The Epitome of Class

2008-09-04T22:00:00.000-07:00

Sarah Palin. With her sexy librarian glasses and her cute little lipstick jokes. You don't bother boring the American public with monotonous dronings about things like our economy, or when to bring our soldiers home, or the growing number of citizens without healthcare. You keep us entertained with sassy little Obama insults, and catty remarks. Issues-smisshues, we want the drama, lady! And thank you for giving it to us, Mrs. Palin. We were getting a little bored of listening to Obama just go on and on about change, and choice, and blah blah blah. I mean, come on! He didn't even mention your 17-year-old pregnant daughter, talk about boooorrring! But it's alright, we know you would've taken full advantage if you'd have been on the other side. We know you can keep us entertained. We have faith in the bitch factor of our hockey moms.

And thanks for not bumming us out by making us think about what you would stand for if your Presidential running mate keels over and dies. I mean, nobody wants to touch on the heavy stuff right now, there are sparkly hats for Christs sake! Let's enjoy them! We'll worry about the geriatric candidate later (God willing).

So here's to you Sarah Palin. For putting the ass back into classy. Now go team up with McCain and see how you can cram Obama, Lindsay Lohan, and Amy Winehouse into a 30 second PSA. Talk about a party!!

I can be Beachy

2008-08-31T23:19:00.001-07:00

Last weekend I got to go on a beach trip with a group of people that I love, but have never been on vacation with before. And it was spectacular.

Photographic Proof:

Denver on the Outside

2008-08-29T12:37:00.000-07:00

If you have the time, I highly, highly recommend you go check out this blog. These guys has some utterly amazing photos and video coverage of what's going on outside the DNC in Denver. Trying to explain in words what these photos show won't do it justice. Make sure and scroll through a couple of pages and watch the videos.

http://drunkatdnc.blogspot.com/

(the above photo courtesy of the aforementioned blog)

Home with the Armadillo

2008-08-26T22:50:00.000-07:00

I wrote about 90% of this a long time ago, but never posted it. Today I decided to finish and post. This how it went:

My life is weird.

I walked out onto the patio of a bar a few nights ago to one of the worst covers of London Homesick Blues I've ever heard.........and immediately almost burst into tears.

Music and smells have the ability to throw you into a pretty vivid time warp, moreso than any written or vocal recollection ever could. In the same way that the smell of pool-cue chalk and christmas potpourri makes me think about playing dress-up in my cousins attic, or the opening riff of "Say It Ain't So" puts me on the floor of a bedroom at 17 years old, listening to an off-rhythm guitar and staring at Pink Floyd Posters......the sound of Gary P. Nunn singing about Marble Arch Station throws me back into one of the weirdest points in my life.

That night was the first time I've heard that song since I lived in London and played it on loop constantly at 4 in the morning. Pitiful, yes. I'd sit in my shoebox room with my computer while the smell of cigarette smoke and teriyaki creeped underneath my bedroom door, and fight with myself about staying in a place that made me miserable. All the while listening to World of Warcraft battle cries in Mandarin in the background.

That sounds horribly sad, and it probably was at the time, but looking back on it, I'm happy as hell I did it........ Also happy as hell that I came home.

Pride is a bitch, and learning to swallow it in order to make myself happy was a lesson that didn't come easy. It took a lot of phone calls in international call stations to convince me that I wasn't throwing in the towel by coming back. And, regardless of my reasons for coming home, I think it all happened the way it was supposed to. Maybe not the way I had planned, but definitely the way that was best for me down the line.

It's weird to think of how my life was a year ago today, and how it is now, and what a difference 12 months can make. A year ago, London was finally starting to feel like home....which is honestly, probably why I left.

Even though I was there for a short period of time, I think that if I went back, there would be a strange air of familiarity that slightly resembled home. I don't think it was so much the amount time I spent there, but the attitude I had. This was my home. This was where I was going to spend the following years. The underground, the daily trip to the Sainsbury to buy overpriced sandwiches and giant Cadbury chocolate bars, the Warren Street corner bag peddler with easily the ugliest purses in town, becoming accustomed to my surroundings, but lacking personal familiarity. This was what I had to get used to.

I ran into a woman I had met 2 days earlier on the street, and it was the most bizarre feeling on earth. I hadn't run into anyone I knew in 3 months.

I couldn't be happier where I am now, but despite the tears that were shed at the time, I'll still have a soft spot for those nights I listened to London Homesick Blues through the tiny speakers on my computer and wished to God I knew how to speak Mandarin.

With all of that said, I don't really have a desire to listen to that song anymore......

Ta-Da!

2008-08-17T19:49:00.000-07:00

This is a short film my brother and I made as part of the Filmmaking Frenzy's Unnecessary Sequels film competition.

CLICK HERE TO VOTE!!!

My brother and I co-directed a short film and this is what it might look like...

2008-08-07T15:27:00.000-07:00

Who's Next

2008-08-07T14:33:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I write things and I forget to finish or post them. Sometimes I write things and don't post them because when I wake up they aren't as brilliant as I thought they were the night before. This is one of those, I posted it anyway:

--------------

Tonight I watched the VH1 Rock Honors special, honoring The Who. And it got me thinking...

First of all, The Who is fucking awesome. Let's just get that out of the way. Hot damn. Talk about pure, unadulterated, raw Rock n Roll. Pete still windmills like a 25 year old.

Secondly, being the age that I am, and being raised in the time period that I was, I never had the experience of living through a major cultural shift of music into newly pioneered territory. I guess maybe I did with Grunge, but for some reason I was in a pretty intense Garth Brooks phase, and I didn't fall in temporary love with Kurt Cobain until he was already dead. By that time, everyone already knew the words to Plateau, and I was uncool. Though my rendition of Lithium on my purple Ibanez bass did credit me some cool points a couple years later.

ANYWAY, back to my original point. Could you imagine hearing something completely new collectively as a human race (or at least as a human race with radios)? It would be like seeing a new color I think. I don't really think that's possible anymore. First off, absolutely everything you hear now sounds like something else before it. Good things. Bad things. Every things. The only good songs on public radio are ones that were recorded 30+ years ago. Today, mainstream public radio is where truly terrible music goes to thrive.

But mainly, this cant ever happen again because of the internet. You can't hear something new collectively as a human race (with radios) because nobody listens to anything collectively anymore. The days of a band brewing in a studio for months before exploding all at once over the airwaves are over. Now we're there with them every bar gig, every studio session, every van breakdown and lost drummer. There are no more explosions.

This lack of explosivity isn't a bad thing at all. It's just different than what it used to be. Now there are small bands out there putting out amazing records without labels, and people all over the world are buying them because they want to. Now there are options. Infinite options.

But as far as a new universal mainstream genre goes, who knows, maybe there are a couple of kids locked up in their house making a sonic masterpiece, refusing to release samples of it on myspace or itunes until it is all finished and they take over every website, satellite radio station and cable network for three and a half minutes to show the world their genius and open doors for others to an entire new genre.

Maybe not. I think we're going to be recycling until someone either creates a brand new mainstream instrument, or the world ends.

But you don't know what you don't know, which is how I ended up in a bet with my fake boyfriend about the measures of technological advances in 50 year spans, but that's for another day...

In the meantime, throw on Who's Next and close your eyes.

Tenants Log- Day 2: Eh

2008-08-01T12:21:00.000-07:00

The kitchen is almost done, which is a huge step.

Last night we realized we didn't have any wine, which was a huge let down. We watched 2 episodes of Arrested Development and decided to call it a night. A kitchen was enough to do for one evening.

Tonight we'll hit up Ikea. And the grocery store.

In all honesty, I'm not sure how long I can keep this Tenants Log going. It's pretty damn boring. I'm almost positive you don't care what kind of curtains I put in my bathroom. It started as an OK idea, but it turned out just being very lame. Sorry bout that, sometimes you don't know til you try...

__________________________________________

In other news, this man:

is suing Gretchen Wilson for copyright infringement. Bitch ripped off "Jealous Again." And didn't even bother to really change up the words. She changed "Sunday" to "Monday." Genius.

I have no real opinion about this, other the fact that Gretchen Wilson is terrible and I'm happy this might rid the general public of one more of her songs. Honestly, this story just gives me an excuse to post that picture. *sigh*

_________________________

Also, some dude in Canada sawed off another passenger's head on a greyhound bus the other day. Holy shit. Chew on that for a while. And never fall asleep using public transportation.

_________________________

I'm also filming a zombie movie this weekend....... I know, bad segue.

This will be the first short film I shoot with my brother, so I'm pretty excited about that. Pictures will come next week.

Stay tuned.....I promise no more boring house stories

Tenants Log- Day 1

2008-07-31T13:42:00.001-07:00

Things here are cold. In great ways and in not so great ways. We had a new AC unit put in, which makes our house much cooler in this 150 degree heat (and made it very nice when we were lugging all of our shit off the trailer and into our house last night).

Our water is also cold. Until Tuesday. Turns out I missed the gas company by a couple hours on Monday, and they had already shut it off. Ah well, at least now I don't waste so much time in the shower in the mornings. Water on. Get wet. Water off. Lather. Water on. Rinse. Get the hell out and wrap up in a towel. Walk outside to warm up.

The house is wonderful. It's almost hard to put into words how good it feels to finally move in. The living room looks so homey I might just start sleeping in there. That might also partially be due to the fact that the furniture company forgot the hardware to my bed, so I've just got a bunch of loose parts and a mattress right now. It's going to be really exciting to finally get all of my bedroom furniture put together and organized in there.

Tonight's mission is the kitchen. Later will be my bedroom. One of these days we'll hook up the surround sound so we can have even more intense dance parties.

Over and out...

Holy Pajamas

2008-07-30T12:02:00.000-07:00

Because if your prayers don't protect you, your pajamas will...

Christian marketing is hilarious sometimes

A Year and a Lifetime Later

2008-07-24T07:43:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I get the keys to my new house. After an entire year of my stuff being packed away in boxes, I finally get to bring it all out and unpack. After an entire year of sleeping in hostel beds, ninja houses, foreign countries, couches and beds all across central Texas, and the always welcoming bed at my parents house, I get to bring my own amazing, cushy bed back out. I get to buy new furniture and new bedding and make the house look the way I (we) want it. I get to paint, decorate, organize and settle. I get to cook in my own kitchen, fall asleep on my own couch, and have drinks in my own backyard. This is extremely exciting to me. Come by and visit sometime.

Drive On

2008-07-20T23:28:00.001-07:00

Tonight I saw the exit to my house coming up and I wondered what would happen if I just kept on driving. How far I'd go. I'd have to get gas pretty soon since I'm 30 miles to empty, so I imagine I'd make it just north of Leander before stopping for gas. I wonder if when I stopped for gas I would realize that I didn't have my toothbrush, or extra underwear, or any idea where I was going, and turn back. Maybe I wouldn't though. Keep driving until I got tired and pulled over at a rest stop and fell asleep. When I woke up in the morning I'm sure that's when I'd wonder what the hell I was doing and probably go back home. But maybe I'd stop at a convenient store, buy up all the Red Bull, and drive until I got somewhere. I wonder where that somewhere would be.

Sometimes I think about that....

Tomorrow

2008-07-18T23:16:00.000-07:00

I'm taking a personal day to get much-needed errands out of the way, but more importantly, to take a little time for myself, and breathe, on my own, to organize the fragments of thoughts that have been bouncing around my head. I feel like it's a giant mess of incomplete sentences and clogged emotions in there. I need to sort those out and put them on paper. So tomorrow, that is what I'll do. Well, that and buy bedding for my new house.

The Spacesucking Blog

2008-07-06T09:19:00.000-07:00

4th of July weekend is over, and here is what I've accomplished:

3 shoots: 1 with license plates, 1 with teeth, and 1 with a live, stuffed, and animatronic chicken wrestling a sequined spandex-clad 70 year old woman. Number 3 wins.
Lots of post-shoot drinking, dancing, and consequential sleeping
Lots of watermelon consumption
Lots of Arrested Development watched on DVD
A good amount of swimming and bbq eating
Tan lines

It was a good weekend indeed.

Pants dyed blue, hands dyed too

2008-06-25T08:22:00.000-07:00

Today, I look like a smurf mechanic. But the pants look great.

Holy Shit

2008-06-24T15:38:00.001-07:00

Yes, this is a real competition. $25,000 to a 12-year-old who texts a phrase containing "supercalafragilsticexpialadocious" in 42 seconds (I didn't make that up).

This makes me want to cry, throw my cell phone in a blender, and rip out my uterus for fear of raising a child in a world where pre-pubescent scenesters get paid tens of thousands of dollars to text message in superspeed and play fake guitars along to shitty metal songs, all the while actual musicians who play real guitars and write real songs get paid $150 bucks a weekend to play at your local bar.

I'd give that 12-year-old $25,000 to tell me who Julie Andrews is....

Weirdest way anyone has ever asked me to take off my clothes

2008-06-22T20:41:00.001-07:00

Drunken slurring middle aged dude with unfortunately curly hair: "Hey, your outfit is (thumbs up gesture). Are you in movies?"

Me, wearing a jumpsuit circa-1975: "Uhh no"

Slurring drunkard: "Do you know anything about movies?"

Me: "What? Yeah"

Slurring drunkard: "What would you think about this being in the movie (gestures to the outfit that got the two thumbs up)?"

Me: "Uhhh. I don't want to be in a movie"

Slurring drunkard: "It's called Diana in Explosions. I already wrote the screenplay. Can I take your outfit with me tonight?"

Woohaa!

2008-06-20T16:00:00.000-07:00

2 shoots in 48 hours both wrapped in over 2 hours ahead of schedule. We are rockstars.

Way to keep up the good work, AdFed!

2008-06-16T13:55:00.000-07:00

This month, the Austin Ad Federation once again demonstrates it's unwavering credibility and prestige by giving out the much revered Big Wig Awards.

This year, Wally Williams won best soundperson in Austin.

Congratulations Uncle Wallace. We never knew you had it in you. For a man who's never touched a sound board, you're one hell of an engineer. Bravo sir. Bravo.

Stock Footage is Ugly and Stupid

2008-06-11T08:52:00.000-07:00

Why are there so many hookers in train stations?

Why is there so much dancing going on in board rooms?

And why, oh why, is that male nurse giving me the creepiest thumbs up ever in scrubs that were probably purchased 8 years ago at a Party City?

The directors that shoot iStock stock footage must have a really off sense of what is normal in this world. I just need a shot of a businessman giving a speech in a conference room. I would think that would be a widely-needed enough shot that iStock could make some decent money off of it. What I don't need is an extremely overdramatic businessman sneezing and then falling into a shipping box filled with popcorn. I just don't need that. I really can't imagine who would. This is not a situation that I would think comes up very often, if ever:

"Well, we need to sell microchips, Johnson. What can we show in an advertisement to sell microchips?"

"I have an idea sir, how about sneezing!"

"Well yes, sneezing is good, but we need more!"

"Ok, sneezing into a shipping box!"

"No, no Johnson, that's silly. How about sneezing and falling into a shipping box??"

"Filled with popcorn sir!"

"Johnson, you're a genius!! These microchips will be flying off the shelves!! Good work!"

Stock footage has turned my brain to jello....

Heck yes, new Coen Brothers!!

2008-05-30T09:13:00.001-07:00

Today is already 85 times better than yesterday.

I had much better dreams last night. Nobody died, and there was a nice accompanying soundtrack from Todd Snider. Consequently, when I woke up I didn't feel like my life was falling apart....which happened to be the case yesterday.

We all had coffee at Enoteca this morning before work, which was a lovely way to decompress before the day began.

And then when I got to the office, I found this:

Happy Friday indeed!

Well Crap...

2008-05-29T21:18:00.000-07:00

Spurs lost.

Can't hold a damn 17 point lead.

Season's over.

I'm bummed.

Boo.

Really?!

2008-05-28T12:48:00.000-07:00

Dunkin' Donuts pulled an ad today because Rachael Ray was shown wearing a scarf that resembled a traditional headdress worn by Arab men. Here's the accompanying article:

Does Dunkin' Donuts really think its customers could mistake Rachael Ray for a terrorist sympathizer? The Canton-based company has abruptly canceled an ad in which the domestic diva wears a scarf that looks like a keffiyeh, a traditional headdress worn by Arab men. Some observers, including ultra-conservative Fox News commentator Michelle Malkin, were so incensed by the ad that there was even talk of a Dunkin' Donuts boycott. "The keffiyeh, for the clueless, is the traditional scarf of Arab men that has come to symbolize murderous Palestinian jihad," Malkin yowls in her syndicated column. "Popularized by Yasser Arafat and a regular adornment of Muslim terrorists appearing in beheading and hostage-taking videos, the apparel has been mainstreamed by both ignorant and not-so-ignorant fashion designers, celebrities, and left-wing icons." The company at first pooh-poohed the complaints, claiming the black-and-white wrap was not a keffiyeh. But the right-wing drumbeat on the blogosphere continued and by yesterday, Dunkin' Donuts decided it'd be easier just to yank the ad. Said the suits in a statement: "In a recent online ad, Rachael Ray is wearing a black-and-white silk scarf with a paisley design. It was selected by her stylist for the advertising shoot. Absolutely no symbolism was intended. However, given the possibility of misperception, we are no longer using the commercial." (In case you're wondering, the stylist who selected the offending scarf was not Gretta Enterprises boss Gretchen Monahan, who appears on Ray's TV show as a style consultant.) For her part, Malkin was pleased with Dunkin's response: "It's refreshing to see an American company show sensitivity to the concerns of Americans opposed to Islamic jihad and its apologists."

In case you're wondering what the scarf looks like, this is it:

Seriously. Fox News got their panties in a bunch when they saw that.

Well shit. You got us. You've figured it all out. It's all part of the master plan us left-wingers have concocted to support the terrorist regime by the careful product placement of accessories on obnoxious Food Network hosts promoting donuts. DAMMIT, how'd you crack our code?!?

What's next, pulling every commercial on the air that shows a woman in a long black dress? Degree for Women is fuuuuucked.

So thank you Fox News, for not wasting yours and our time getting riled up about those silly little things like a falling economy, or rising gas prices, or the soldiers still dying in Iraq. No, you get down to the heart of the issues that really matter......like SCARVES!

Wow.

Vote Obama.

This is how I've been feeling lately...

2008-05-27T10:06:00.000-07:00

Which is weird, because I'm actually terrified of robots...

Game 7 Here We Come!!

2008-05-16T10:22:00.000-07:00

I went to the Spurs game last night. It was a blast. I've got a pretty significant crush on Big Shot Bob. Here are pictures. Happy Friday to everyone.

We've got Personality

2008-05-12T13:17:00.000-07:00

Sometimes at work, we have spare time. In that spare time on Friday, our animator decided to give our wonderkid intern a lesson in Cinema 4D. Out of that lesson, brilliance emerged:

One Thousand Miles to Salzburg

2008-05-07T11:35:00.000-07:00

The Proclaimers were just singing to me through my car stereo. It reminded me of this:

I spent the entire 3 minutes and 39 seconds singing with a giant smile on my face, alone in my car. The dude in the Jeep Liberty next to me got a kick out of it.

I really miss Austria.

Here are a couple more Austria videos. You might enjoy them more with your fingers in your ears. You also might want to hop a plane to Salzburg.....if I knew German I'd live there forever.

That's a Wrap!

2008-05-05T09:31:00.000-07:00

My job is fun.

In a time span of 9 months, I've played the roles of Agency Producer, Post-Pro Producer and Line Producer. I won't go into details for those of you who just don't care, but to put it in Layman's terms, Line Producing is a lot more stressful.

This past Wednesday was the first shoot we at Shiny shot on our own, and after weeks of talking lighting equipment, degrees of track, focal length, and one possible incident of grand larceny from a grocery store, shoot day is over and everything's in the can.

And for those of you who are like my mother, and have no idea what it is that I actually do for a living, here are some visuals to better explain:

Oh, and that's Ron shoving a green screen roll back into a cardboard box.

So hooray! One shoot down, countless ones to come. This life is fun...

A sentence I heard today....

2008-05-01T14:24:00.001-07:00

"Go erase the sacrilegious shit off the walls, that guy had a Jesus ring on yesterday"

Things I need: Tequila and Bandaids

2008-04-29T22:32:00.000-07:00

I'm going to need a big fat drink on Thursday. Giant even. Yes, I think giant. A big fat giant drink and some bandaids for my fingertips that are cut to hell from production book brads.

In other news, I bought a couch. It's extremely comfortable. I foresee many a nap being taken on this couch. However, I can't really do anything with this couch until I move into my house in July, which sucks. But alas, the road to domestic bliss is slowly being paved with microfiber, and that excites me.

Also, I have a bruise on my thigh that looks exactly like the bat symbol. Batman! That's pretty cool I think.

I have to wake up at 5:30 tomorrow. I'm going to sleep now. Stress might kill me this week.

Viva la Stingaree

2008-04-21T08:57:00.000-07:00

I wish every weekend of my life was like this past one. Sunshine, ocean, great music and beer. And spectacular people. Really freakin' spectacular people.

Stingaree Quotealong: complete with photo illustrations...

FUNTOWN: probably not as fun as the Funatorium, although it probably has slightly more Crystal Meth

Beaches and Military Assault Vehicles: the cornerstones to every great vacation

"The door to the Porta Potty is on the other side buddy"

"Excuse me, can I take photos of the band up your skirt please?"

"Heyyyyy, if I wasn't here with someone I just met, I'd wanna meet youuu"

Oh jesus...

"I don't think you should be running for Constable right now, no matter how many free hats you have"

"You can't call me Mr. Constable. It's either Mr. Allcorn, or Constable Allcorn"

"CONSTACORN!"

"I'm made out of luggage. I am MADE OUT OF LUGGAGE!!"

"Anyone here for the homemade meth convention at the Crystal Palace Resort Motel??"

"Oh the ferry only takes 13 minutes, we don't need gas...."

And of course.....Pho 20: Fine Vietnamese Dining

A legitimate restaurant in Galveston

And on top of all of that, the music was fantastic. However, I took the show photos with my digital camera, and frankly, they aren't as pretty. I've got a whole vintage vibe going on with my slide film photos, so I don't want to muck it up.

All of the music was superb, the highlights being Terry Allen, Ray Wylie Hubbard, Scott Nolan and the Producers jam on Sunday. Never in my life have I heard someone actually play Freebird after that one old drunk dude in the crowd yells it out. Stellar.

I wish I was still there, getting tan and drunk while watching shows all day, but I guess the real world has to rear its head at some point. So it's back to work and time for a serious detox for my body. Not near as fun. Ah well, until next time! Thanks Hayes for putting on a wonderful festival!!!

Byyeeeeee Pink Paaaaaanther!

Go Spurs Go!!

2008-04-17T09:37:00.001-07:00

That's all I've got. Tony Parker made my night last night. I'm leaving for the beach today, so if you're banking on anything intelligent coming from me, tough shit, I've already checked out.

Viva la Stingaree!

Summary of the next Tuesday Morning

2008-04-15T08:41:00.000-07:00

Today is a gorgeous day.

The pressure in my head has finally subsided. I think I'll throw a moving out party for all the mucus like in those Mucinex commercials.

I'm no longer on 800 different kinds of allergy meds. Thank God for steroid shots.

I'm wearing pants.

My sunburn is gone and I no longer smell like coconut pie.

I've switched to hot tea.

I haven't had a panic attack since Thursday.

Today I'm in a beautiful mood because I listened to Motown on the way to work and I'm going to the beach on Thursday. Kyle's coming home soon and that makes me happy too.

Good things can happen in a week.

Come Back Saengerhalle

2008-04-14T21:45:00.000-07:00

I miss the Wednesday nights of free shows and cheap beer and a near-empty dancehall except for the sound of Dylan and The Band and Townes covers and Blue Bell Homemade Ice Cream and Folgers and Reading Rainbow jingles for an audience of no more than 30 people all happy as hell to drive out to the middle of nowhere to enjoy talented people sing good music that you'll never hear on the radio.

Now there's the Wednesday nights of free shows and expensive beer and an overpacked beergarden with people that only came to hear that one song that gets played on the radio and could give a flying fuck to hear a Dylan or a Townes or a Band song while the sound of frat guys screaming song requests rises out of the sea of overwhelming douchebaggery and fake tits and rhinestones to drown out the music you used to be able to hear in a near-empty dancehall that now serves as a Church of Christ.

Oh facebook, you hardly knew me at all....

2008-04-14T12:52:00.000-07:00

Today, Facebook decides to send me an email to let me know how my social status is coming along. This is what it said:

gained 3 places: now #36 most desired for marriage

gained 2 places: now #17 best singer

If you know me, this is hilariously absurd.

To be honest with you, I really have no idea what these mean. For all I know, there are manatees running the show back there.

Apparently I'm also 181st in the "cuddly" category, so at least they got something right. Kudos manatees.

To further prove my point, this is what I look like when I sing:

Summary of a Tuesday Morning

2008-04-08T08:19:00.001-07:00

Today is a dreary day.

I feel like things might be better if I could drill a hole in my forehead and insert a faucet.

Instead I'll settle for a smorgeshboard of allergy meds.

I still can't wear pants.

I've resulted to smothering the lower half of my body in shea butter and coconut oil and throwing on tights.

I'm not sure if it's helping my sunburn, but my ass now smells like coconut pie.

I miss morning coffee.

I can't drink coffee with pseudoephedrine because it sends me into panic attacks.

I'm getting the allergy shot on Thursday. Very excited about that.

So today I smell like dessert and I'm not having panic attacks. There is also an end in sight for my allergy woes. I guess it might be a good day after all.

Note To Self: Wear Sunscreen

2008-04-06T17:01:00.000-07:00

I got my first real sunburn at the age of 18 after spending an entire day wade-fishing in a bikini on Matagorda Bay. I was convinced that all sunburns were not like this, and something was seriously wrong with my skin. Turns out I was wrong. This was normal, and I was a pansy.

Unfortunately, the day I was able to vote was apparently also the day that the melanin in my skin decided to quit it's job. I'm still trying to get used to the concept of wearing sunscreen, and you would think after 4 years of getting these strange things called sunburns, I would learn......

No. Today my ass looks like a tomato and the back of my thighs are worse. I'll be spending the next 3 days trying not to sit down. So far, not so easy to do....

Robot Attacks Now Imminent

2008-03-26T13:44:00.000-07:00

I'm barely useful as a human being today because of all the shit in the air, but I'm pretty sure this is the most terrifying thing in the world....

SXSW: God, that took a long time

2008-03-20T12:14:00.000-07:00

Tackling the great SXSW blog......

It's a hefty task. I imagine there are about 8 million blogs out there this week, with detailed accounts of everyone's personal SXSW experience. There were even blogging stations outside clubs for those who wanted to immediately let everyone in cyberspace know how much of a life they lacked. At least I waited til the weekend was over......I'm only slightly lifeless. Regardless, you can't open your browser without hitting a million SXSW blogs, everyone trying to be more clever and relevant than the next........mine will be no different. Well, it will be different than yours, but not really at all. You win Esquire, but only because you have a picture of us holding limp french fries.

Anyway, if you haven't stopped reading by now, you might as well make it to the end. Don't be a quitter. Here we go:

MONDAY: (yes, I started Monday)

20x2: SXSW Interactive premiered a 2-minute short by Shiny Object. My face turned a shade not far from magenta as a room full of about 800 interactive geeks watched me do a sex scene with a Wii and get pregnant in superspeed (reminding everyone there of the good ol days of Jiffy Pop). The video is on YouTube. You'll have to find it yourself if you really want to see it. I'm not going to make it that easy for you.

Tequila Mockingbird Party: Was there for enough time to see Redd Volkaert and the beginning of The Strange Boys. Both fun. The party got put in the Austinist, which resulted in lots of odd freeloaders. Including a dude that had his whole face tattooed like a Cheetah and an inordinate number of people in hats. About half of my extended family was there though, so that was nice.

It was Ron's bday that night, so after 20x2, we all headed to Casino and ate half a cow each. That didn't really work out for any of us.

TUESDAY:

Saw Oliver Future at Emo's after work. They sounded fantastic. Jordan sent a cymbal flying across the room. I drank Blue Moon. Bosco, Tina and I went and had delicious fried goat cheese and chicken ravioli at Malaga. I went home at a decent hour.

WEDNESDAY:

Took a quick post-work nap before meeting up with Dustin and Natalie at the Parish. Saw Peter Moren of Peter Bjorn and John sing what seemed like a 45-minute song about a bus under an unnecessarily strong spotlight. I never thought that after every radio station, TV show and commercial outplayed it, that I'd want to hear "Young Folks" again. But after the bus-odyssey I just wanted to hear that damn whistling and get out of there.

I didn't. We did.

The next 45 minutes were spent walking in and out of bars with bands that were running 10 minutes late. Our batting average was shitty. Finally, I saw a head of hair I recognized, and got in line with JJ, Monsey and Steven to watch Daniel Lanois. I was very happy I saw the top of JJ's head, because being the stellar musicians they are, I trust their judgement. Dave Monsey and JJ Johnson: Austin's finest rhythm section.

It took me a beer and Monsey a tequila shot to realize that this place called Pangaea that we were in used to be the old Alamo. I liked it better without the fake fire. Lanois was fantastic. Brian Blade, his drummer for the evening, was beyond human comprehension. Go watch his drum solos on YouTube now. Right now.

After-show company was fun. Steven brought his lawyer, he was nice. We tried to head to Malaga to have more goat cheese, but it was closed so we settled for Ropollos instead. Not as nice. We all piled in JJ's car and drove to the Continental. That ride was very nice. Monsey told me he fears I might be a terrible person in 10 years.......not so nice. I fear that too sometimes.

Everything after that was extremely blurry. I think I saw Ben and Alexandra. I think I met Charlie Mars a total of 8 times. I think Blondell was there. I think we all stood and watched David Garza play without saying a word to each other for entirely too long. I think I shouldn't be allowed in public in such a state.

We all went home when the bar closed.

THURSDAY:
The morning came too early. 4am bedtimes + 7am wake times don't make for easy rising. After work, Tina and I headed to the San Jose to watch Bobby Bare Jr. Always a great show. He played some of his new stuff, so that was entertaining. The San Jose has a pretty great set up for SXSW, I highly recommend checking it out next year. Plus the shows are free and Shiner's $3. I bought a flower clip to put in my hair.

After a great show and a nice chat with some beautiful people and a cute dog, we headed to Auditorium Shores to watch Spoon. The line was long. The show was good from what we heard.....but we mostly layed in the grass and mistook birds and airplanes for shooting stars.

Post-Spoon, Tina and I walked past a few new condo buildings and voiced our concerns. Get out of here, California. I dropped her off and went and met Palli, Ben & company at Smokin' Music to watch Shane's new band play. Electric Touch were so very Rock n' Roll. It was equally as entertaining to watch Caitlin's facial expressions when any Rock n' Roll stage-move was performed by Shane. They were great though, check them out. They're playing Coachella this year. Hoorah!

I went to bed after that. It was midnight and I was lame.

FRIDAY:

Again, 7am came too soon. Luckily, after the caterer-emergency was solved, work slowed down and I was able to head out around 3 to watch Mason Jennings at the San Jose. Ran into Jonny and his recently de-mustached roommate who's name escapes me right now. These people were playing outside Guero's:

Mason Jennings was great. His lyrics always make me giggle. A new song called "Your New Man" especially so. Hoping that ends up on an album someday soon. San Jose photos courtesy of Bosco: It was about that time that my hands began swelling up like balloons. The heat + beer + salty food for lunch = giant puffy hands. Oh well. Stick it out. Hayes Carll went on after that, who's one of my favorites. The speakers went out about halfway through, and we were stuck listening to the rest of the show through the monitors. But Hayes is always a great time, so we didn't mind so much.

Billy Joe Shaver, the 8-fingered man who shot a dude in the face in Waco last year, played after Hayes. Oh yeah, he's also one of the great country songwriters too. When he's not shooting dudes in the face. He was fun. "Black Rose" and "Georgia on a Fast Train" made me dance. I had to sit down after that though, because my hands and feet were starting to look like vienna sausages.

Headed north to downtown after dropping Bosco & Tina off, where I caught the very end of The Black Hollies. Garage rock from New Jersey that now resides in my car stereo. They're awesome. No pictures though, hands were too puffy to operate a camera.

The last stop of the night was a party on the eastside to watch Oliver Future again, and meet up with the man who deemed me hound, among others. Kyle, Lindsay-not-Lohan, JMo, EZ and I rocked out to OF's last of 9 shows during SX, while I ate 2 hamburgers in the matter of about a minute and a half.

Show ended. The guys drove me to my car for fear of potential mugging. I prepared for Saturday.

SATURDAY:

Our company party, in conjunction with the Butler Bros, was an all day event. 11am the kegs were tapped and the hot dogs were grilling, and Matt The Electrician was setting up to play. Matt was a great way to kick off a day that ended with a foot-fetish version of the Scabs. More on that later.

Petty Booka was up after Matt. Two young Japanese girls with Ukuleles singing bluegrass songs in severe Japanese accents. Cutest thing EVER. Youtube them.

Sometime during that set, Max, my boss's 2-year-old son, locked me in a tent after telling me that it "looks like a nice place to take a nap." He's an 80-year-old man trapped in a 2-year-old's body. He spent the rest of the day shucking pistachios and I left the Pedernales for a bit to go watch the Threadgills showcase. Here's how that went down:

Bruce Robison- always puts a smile on my face

Belleville Outfit- will definitely be seeing them again. They're fantastic. Developed a giant girl-crush on the fiddle player with the amazing voice

South Austin Jug Band- hadn't seen them in a while so it was great to hear their new stuff. I think they have a new fiddle player. I could be wrong. My judgement wasn't so clear at that point.

Dedringers- always put a smile on my face as well. Some dude got called out for napping in the back. I quickly became extremely paranoid that us sitting in the grass watching the show was equally inappropriate. It wasn't, but I was still concerned.

After the show, the combination of Bob Marley on the PA and the little girl chasing the dog became too much, and we had to split. Again, shouldn't be allowed in public in such a state.

We calmed down, and went back to the Shiny party just in time to see Foot Patrol go on. Think Scabs, but led by a blind guy with a foot fetish. Every song was a dirty ode to feet. Definitely entertaining. Slightly gross.

After the party concluded and the kegs were floated, we went to Vivo for dinner and had delicious tostadas. Bosco and Tina headed back to San Marcos, and I met up with the boys from OF to watch Liam Finn's superior looping skills. I don't know who the Australian chick who he was playing with's name, but she looked like she was having a blast on stage. That's always great to see. Though it's not something I would pop in and listen to in my car, it's definitely extremely entertaining to watch him perform live. Oh an also, the "Bat Bar" is an very stupid name for a venue. Unless you're in Gotham. Which we obviously weren't.

Then we met Jeff Miller and Eric Gillin of Esquire magazine at Champions. This is how we ended up in the Esquire blog. Contrary to what the official blog might suggest, they were the ones who decided to grace the utterly pedestrian sports bar, we're just the ones who decided to sit down and order chicken fingers.

After an utterly pedestrian meal and an arts & crafts lesson from Eric (apparently giving a woman a paper napkin rose will get you laid), we all parted ways, and Jordan & I headed off to Dr. Dog.

Fucking great. They rocked. We rocked. Everyone rocked. The lead singer was wasted, but that just made it rock harder. Overall fucking fantastic. Two thumbs up.

Then Jordan and I met back up with Jeff & Eric and schmoozed our way into the Perez Hilton party. They were serving canned coffee and Fiji water. N.E.R.D was playing. Pharrell is awesome. Hanson was there, so was Robyn. I think maybe also a portal from 1998 had to be there somewhere. There were people getting their haircut. Never saw Perez himself but maybe it's better that way. It was 6am before we got to sleep.

Sunday was a day for naps and recovery. Another successful SXSW. Maybe next year I'll forget the wristband and just do the free shows. Who knows.

The End.

Something quick and sentimental

2008-03-13T16:02:00.000-07:00

I'm a few weeks late on this, but I just want it to be publicly known that I have the best girlfriends in the entire world. The whole entire world. Thanks to them, my birthday was damn near perfect, which is something that had yet to happen in the previous years. Maybe I'm bias, but I don't think a lot of people are lucky enough to be surrounded with people that ooze intelligence, positivity and love as much as these girls do. A day out on the lawn of the Gruene winery talking about balls & politics......I couldn't have asked for a better way to spend a birthday. Thanks Pentas. Love you all.

Oh, and they also decorated their apartment for me. This is what it looked like:

Paso-Doble at the Police Academy

2008-03-11T22:39:00.001-07:00

I just saw a commercial for the new season of Dancing with the Stars, in which under the breathily-read title, "Sexier" was Shannon Elizabeth, Pricilla Presley, and Steve Guttenberg. When the hell did Steve Guttenberg become sexy? Who decided that Dancing with the Stars would notably sexier if they included Steve Guttenberg? Was it you Tom Bergeron? Silly Canadian.* Either way, it made me laugh pretty hard. Here's a picture of Steve Guttenberg, who's sexiness can be left up for your own interpretation.

*No, Tom Bergeron and I are not related, nor is he really Canadian, I don't think. I just figured he'd be a Canuk because most of the Bergerons I meet that aren't fellow coonasses, hail from Canadaland.

Go Guttenberg!

Nightmares with Captain Ron

2008-03-03T15:33:00.001-08:00

Watching Kurt Russell's 'Breakdown' is easily the worst thing you can do before trying to get a good night's sleep. Especially if you turn off the TV before you figure out what's going on, and wake up in a cold sweat to find out that there is no plot synopsis on IMDB. WHY WONT THEY BELIEVE HIM???

White Rain from the Ozone

2008-02-16T12:59:00.000-08:00

Here's my theory on global warming: 85% (approximation) of whatever harm we've done to the ozone layer was primarily done between the years of 1979 and 1992. And this is why:

And of course, this:

I used half a can of Rave hairspray to achieve this look, and I don't exactly have flat hair to begin with. I'm pretty sure Tina and I killed off a couple endangered species last night in the hour it took us to get dressed. Now imagine that half a can of hairspray, used every day, on millions of people, for however long it took for people to stop thinking that Night Ranger was cool. It's not gasoline emissions killing our earth.....it's Aquanet. Which brings me to the conclusion that I think some people have been looking for all along:

Glam Bands are destroying the world. Maybe the dudes from Europe had it right after all.

Death and Eternal Life

2008-02-10T20:43:00.000-08:00

Polaroid announced a couple days ago that they are discontinuing their signature instant camera and film. Tis a sad day for all, though I think Outkast is probably taking it the hardest. The salt shaker shakes alone.

However, in keeping with the cosmic balance of the circle of life, it is now apparent that we have the technology to allow people to live forever by transforming them into living wax figures. This was demonstrated tonight at the Grammys by a live performance from Little Richard.

God doesn't close a door without opening a window.

New Year. New Blog.

2008-02-06T10:13:00.000-08:00

So my original plan was to start a blog when I left the country 9 months ago and chronicle my way through the railways of western Europe, but I quickly realized that writing about the good times was severely cutting into the number of good times time being had.....and I couldn't be having that. So I gave up on the blog idea until I actually had the time and effort to put into it, which eventually turned out to be over half a year later. Woops.

Even though the blog didn't pan out at the time, I did keep a journal during my travels: a random collection of tour tickets, metro passes, postcards I got too lazy to send, and lots of receipts with bits of stories written on the back so I wouldn't forget them, all stuck between the pages. Most of which were something to the likes of this:

bachelor party

sambuca

simon no-pants

lost in club maze bathroom

feet are melting

mercedes taxis not real cheap

also not real taxis.

I've been meaning to put together this journal for a long time now, but putting myself back into the vagabond frame of mind isn't so easy to do. Plus, I have the feeling that going through everything I saved and wrote down is going to open a whole floodgate of emotions that I really don't want to deal with. But, I want to be able to remember the details before I forget what an amazing time I had out there, so that one of these days when I'm in a Rascal Scooter eating squashed peas, I can pull it off the shelf and reminisce about how young and dumb I used to be.

So since I didn't get to it while I was traveling or even after I moved into my place in London, I figure I'll chronicle my European adventures in retrospect from back home in the good ol' U.S. of A. And maybe, just maybe, I might explain how Simon lost his pants and I lost all sense of direction in what seemed like a 14-floor dance club. Maybe.

To tell you the truth, it might be months before I post a Europe story on here, but it seemed like a good enough idea for a first entry on a new blog, so I stuck with it. I'm no quitter. In the meantime, I'll probably write about less exciting shit than getting into a charades fight with a guard at the Vatican, but I'll do my best to keep it interesting. Or maybe not. I might just turn this into a log of what I eat every day. You just never know. Until then, here is a picture I took of Charles Bridge in Prague for your viewing pleasure: